Its been a while. The last two months have been INSANE. The 2 hospital stays in 3 weeks took its toll, on me mainly I guess. There was the tightness in the shoulders, the daily headaches, the waking up at 2 am and 3 am and 5 am to google medical terms (!!), the comfort eating, the not being able to face the laundry pile or managing to do anything other then feed us and keep us somewhat clean. We have worn pyjamas, ALOT!
Stress is a killer. But in a weird way, its all ok, Ive “hit the wall’ before. Ive crashed mentally on some level after most our major hospital stays. Sometimes I just need 4 days of calm and its all ok again, other times its taken 2-3 weeks. One of the biggest ones was 3-4 years ago when after 3 months I still couldn’t “get it together” and had to seek medical help. I write this, not for attention or for you to feel sorry for me, but because I know there are other mums like me out there, and its ok! Feeling the stress, not sleeping, not being able to hang the laundry or clean the house, its all normal. We do what we have to do, we get our rest and sooner or later we will recover, and sometimes you need the help of some clever doctors to get you back on your feet too. And thats all ok!
Im back on my feet. A few days only perhaps, but Im there. I watched 2 whole episodes of a tv show and understood what I was watching (!!) I did 2 loads of laundry in a day and hung them. The house is decorated for Christmas, there is dinner for today and tomorrow already made, the freezer is stocked with bone broths and bolognese for “bad days”.
Im not super mum, but I’m doing my best. Im doing ok. We are supported. We are ok.
In January I need to pick up all the strings left hanging, arrange appointments and follow ups. Im in no rush. Nothing will change because we wait another month. Its Christmas time, and we will concentrate on eating and breathing and being alive. (Not that I really need much more of the eating, LOL!)
While I haven’t posted much on the blog lately, I do update the Facebook page pretty much daily 🙂 Come join us!