Tag Archives: physio

Overwhelmed

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There is so much new information, ALL the time. Celiac… I know this disease, this is my forte, you could ask me almost anything about celiac and I know the answer due to my almost obsessive research. Now, EDS….. and the lung disease no one has ever heard of (including doctors) and that nobody can spell, the diseases and other things she may have or may not. Its just so much to take in. I thought I was ok with it all, that I was coming to terms with it but then I found myself bursting in to tears at physio today and I had to sit with my back to her looking out the window – quietly crying – until I was able to stop.

Not so much that she has all this, I can deal with that, but the fact is she is in pain. Almost daily pain, pain that will be better some days and worse some days but that will probably never ever fully go away.

This is why I cried. Because she is in pain. My tiny teeny little girl who never did anything to deserve any of this, who is so brave and hardly ever complains, she is in pain, and my heart breaks in a million pieces for her and I just want to take all that pain and put it in my body so she can be ok.

I gave her pain meds today, I have only ever done that once before. I didn’t know what else to do. Physio today with hubby there to support language wise was great, we will be getting various equipment for her, to help her stabilise this wonky body of hers, to help her with her pain and hopefully make things a little easier. Again. This is why I cried. 

I cried because my baby girl needs equipment. Not because she has EDS, not because she is different, but because she has so much pain that she needs equipment to try to alleviate some of it.

I cried because my darling girl, after a busy weekend was in so much pain just sitting in the car. I cried because I had to ask my husband to carry her because I knew she would hurt to much walking. I cried because she is paying the price of an awesome weekend with pain.

I cried because I cant – no matter how hard I try – ever take that pain from her.

 

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Physio take 2

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Went to our new physio today and it was a success I guess as he agreed to work with us!

She sad it didn’t hurt, which is fab, but the physio said her joints are very loose, which Im sure is not good? He did a lot of gentle massaging and bending and checking, more next time he says. We ran out of time.

He made me prepare videos of things to do at home, 3 times a day. Every day. Not at all overwhelming. (Note the HINT of sarcasm there…)

This afternoon has been a real struggle, she seems absolutely beat. Exhausted, but as opposed to her usually pale exhausted she is a nice rosy pink exhausted, so at least we know he got her blood circulation going! More physio on Saturday then Tuesday and again Thursday. Privately at the moment unfortunately as the NFZ wait list is like 2-3 months, lucky us we get to pay 3 times per week.

So grateful to have a friend who does school runs with oldest 2 mornings a week so we can rest tomorrow morning.  Who said being a housewife was boring? I hardly have time for housewifery between appointments, playing iPad games (my wine you see), and school stuff. It takes all my energy some days just to stay sane. I often wake up at 5 am and google crap, lately I google in Polish too, just to have my bases covered. My polish sucks, but apparently good enough for googling.

Then next week, I will, finally after needing to go for a long time, go to the dr for me. Im gaining so much weight and although I had it all put down to stress and eating chocolate on tough days (which is most days) its getting a bit silly now. Need to check on the thyroid and all the other usual suspects. Cant have the mum falling apart!

Oh, and then, just because I have to say it to people, to you guys…  a lady in the EDS forum Im in posts saying her kid may have CF and shes super scared, another woman goes, “oh CF, yeah, my friends kid died from that”. Really? People….. sometimes, its important to use our brains. Poor lady. The last thing she needed to hear in the middle of a possible diagnosis. As much as we, the mums of all these kids, want and need truths, we go to these “support” forums for support, not to get to feel like someone just shot us through the heart with a poison arrow. Ive been on the CF rollercoaster, and its not an easy ride….

Anyway, time for baths and stories and snacks and meds.

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Phone calls to everywhere

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Let me tell you guys something about living in Poland. It is HARD. Most of the time its not so hard, and then sometimes, its UBER hard. Like when your kid has been diagnosed with a rare disease that affects 1 in 20000 and your dr’s have no idea where to send you, like when you have to randomly google and try to find where to go and call and be hung up on by people who are scared to say they don’t speak english (Im sure they don’t mean to be rude), like when your husband is in Dubai and cant help because all the calls are long distance and many places don’t answer when they see a foreign number calling.

Like when you are texting instructions to your Polish friend and she spends literally days on the phone making phonecalls for you. DAYS. So far 4 physios do not want to see us. They are scared they will hurt her and they have never dealt with EDS. The dr we already saw is researching other more suitable drs, but his receptionist hangs up on you because I can only say hello and his name in Polish… the rest is english!

I have been looking (not so actively admittedly) for a genetic specialist since October, and the private one says the testing is not available at all in Poland, the private lab says they can do the genetic testing but its 6500zl. We have a referral to do it in public health which would be cheaper, but seems there are no genetic specialists? Or there are and they are hiding. Our dr. said forget it, you will wait years, go private. So do I go directly to the lab and get results that I wont understand? Go to the private dr that wont do the test? Or take my now probably expired skierowanie to all the NFZ places and hope they will help? There is an EDS specialist in Warsaw, one of our dr’s (dr S, THANK YOU for your absolutely amazing dedication to us) has been emailing him, but he is not replying.

Thank God for Daria. She called the NFZ Head office and got two numbers from them to call, tomorrow we will try again. I say we, because while she makes the calls I sit and fret and drink to much coffee (again) and try to keep more hairs from going grey (unsuccessfully I may add).

As a backup I also posted in the expat group and got a link from there for a genetics place, it says they mainly look for other things but surely they can do EDS too? Lets see. Fingers crossed InshAllah!

Must go drink more coffee. Number 7 I think? Its only 4pm 😀

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