Yup. Not only am I one of those mums *insert eyeroll*, I am now also about to be one of THOSE mums *insert even bigger eyeroll*.

We are back from the lung hospital. We have the results from the immunologists. And guess what, there is nothing wrong with with our kid! (Apart from recurring pneumonias with low oxygen levels).

PCD, CF, back normal, no growths or foreign objects in the lung. No asthma although she may be heading that way. A couple of new allergies diagnosed. All immune levels are ok, some a bit low, but within the accepted range, some signs of autoimmune activity that needs to be followed up but thats it.

The doctors agree that its not normal to get so many severe pneumonias, and they agree the low oxygen levels that go along with it are also not normal, all our specialists were so sure they would find something, either in the lung or with her immune system, and I know I shouldn’t be disappointed, because obviously its great news that she’s ok and its not one of the big things, but I cant help but think that this isn’t over at all….

Oh, and there is a plan. Her pulmonologist and immunologist agree that she needs “time off”. A year off school I asked, and the reply was; “probably more like 2”.

I should be happy about this as well as my gut instinct has been telling me for a good year or two now to take her out of school so she can rest, but again, I feel cheated somehow, I wanted a better answer, an answer where we could actually DO something.

I know, it makes sense to have her rest and not be near other kids for a couple of years, if one pneumonia takes 6-12 months to get over she really does have her work cut out for her. But a diagnosis of ‘lots of bad luck and vicious circle and immune system that needs to mature etc’ just doesn’t sound very much like a real diagnosis to me.

One of her antibodies to pneumonia was a little low, but not so much, her overall igg is a bit on the low side but acceptable, the igg1 a bit on the low side but acceptable. FUCK acceptable. Acceptable doesn’t get us anywhere. What if we wait two years and then after that there is no change?

Now back on to the steroids also, yeah, the ones that make her not grow and suffer from bone pain. The ones that make her cry walking down the stairs, the ones that when she came off them she rapidly grew 3 cm!

Im so so tired.

On the bright side we have had doctors confirm she shouldn’t be in school and the paper work to support it. On the not so bright side I need to come up with a home schooling plan in a country where you are only allowed to home school in extreme cases and if so then it must be in Polish.

Anyway. Bla bla. Still sort of processing all this, and Im feeling positive, ish, but also not so much.

Deep breaths and all that.

-Linda