‘Mummy, when Im a grown up, will I be able to eat gluten?’
I knew it would probably come, one day, but yet when it did I wasn’t ready. I didn’t expect to feel so sad, I didn’t expect to feel so bloody hurt, for her!
We have had many questions, and statements, and she’s so smart, so clever, she ‘gets it’. ‘Is autinka Celiac like me mummy?’, ‘When big brother was a baby he could eat gluten right?’, ‘I know big brother can eat gluten, just not at home, because we dont want gluten in our house‘. Etc etc etc. So why then did the question surprise me? And why on earth did I feel so sad…?
I don’t miss my relationship with gluten, I haven’t touched it for almost as long as she has, the last time I had it I felt awful, so its no big deal for me. But Im an adult. I got to grow up eating what I wanted. And although she is so amazingly cool with everything right now, I am in mourning for the things she wont ever get to do. She wont get to do the spontaneous pizza at midnight after the cinema, the kebab after the pub, the walking past a greggs the baker and buying a bag of donut holes and scoffing them all in one go, instead, she has to grow up and be careful, always prepared, plan everything, and although we have a great life and we are OK…. its obviously not going to be easy for her growing up, being different in your pre teens and teens is what we all strived NOT to be.
I hope by hanging out with as many Celiacs as we do that she can continue to feel that what she has is as normal as freckles or a wonky toe. I really really hope so. But deep inside I am so sad for her 😦
Funny, I mean not funny at all, today, we had also a lot of unanswered questions in our house:
“but why can’t I have my absolute favorite biscuit in the world?”
“How can explain to my classmates? they don’t understand…”
“Why can’t I eat in one of the trendy restaurants?”
“Why can’t I buy anything in school kiosk?”…
Please don’t feel sad for your daughter Look at the bright side; at least she was diagnosed early and has not spent a lifetime suffering. Look at what she CAN have, not what she can’t. There are plenty of gf goodies, even donut holes and donuts, but does she really need those things?. Finally, she will grow up a lot healthier than many other kids subjected to the gluten diet which – really– is not a healthy way to live. Gluten causes inflammation and all kinds of other
problems. Why me is a difficult question to answer and helping kids live with the condition, can be challenging, Just take them to a children’s hospital and look at all the really sick kids–