People can be so insensitive to others and rude cant they? I don’t know how people can be so absolutely void of compassion? I had a run in the other day with a woman in our school, (well actually, I was standing perfectly still minding my own business, she was the one running) she couldn’t understand WHY we have to include people with special dietary needs in school events. She was actually screaming at me, “WHY do we have to do this”, “WHY do we have to provide food for these people”.
These people of course being us. These people being my 2 kids within earshot. These people being a ten your old boy who couldn’t sleep that night because he couldn’t understand why anybody would say something like that. Mummy he said, if we wanted to eat nuts, and G wanted to come, then we just wouldn’t eat nuts because its ok to wait and eat them when she’s not there, her being safe is more important! (heck, we don’t even keep nuts in our home because we have friends who have nut issues)
All I could do was hug him, because how do you explain that some people think they are more important than someone elses well being? How do you explain that even though the hotel thats hosting the event is well aware and capable of providing safe food for all, sometimes the people organising, think its to much hard work to even request it from them…?
At the time of all this shouting, I was just shocked and stunned that somebody would say crap like that to my face, let alone in front of my children (and other peoples children). Now I am hurt and angry. Will I address it? Hell no.
And let me explain why….
There are people who dont understand through just not knowing, who have never had to deal with someone with an allergy or autoimmune disease, there are people who ask questions and try to help, who want to get it right. These people can learn, many want to learn, and most are open to! Others arent interested but do understand that you cant exclude people based on diet (or religion) so they just do what is asked of them. Then there are people like this one. A lost cause for sure. Whatever anger she is directing at me and my children and others like us is obviously not about us, but about her. Whatever hostility she has against us is obviously a hostility – not from fear of the unknown – but deeply rooted from something else. At least I have to believe this, because how the hell can she hate someone just because they cant eat the same food as everybody else?
Its not easy being different and idiots are everywhere, but I had somehow hoped to not have my 7 and 10 year old exposed to people this hostile, so soon (and for sure not in their own school). My son has not mentioned it again now, but I know its on his mind and I know more questions will follow. How hurt must he be on the inside? I don’t even know how – as a parent – I am supposed to fix this. All I can do is love them as much as I can and hope that all that love wins over everything else.
Seems vegetarians and anyone with special dietary request for religious reasons were also in this woman’s firing line. So very UN PC.
Being Un pc is ok. But live and let live and dont come shouting your crappy evil opinions at me in school where kids can hear you! One of those kids a teenager about to be tested for celiac and food allergies. How the hell must this teen now feel?
Life is hard enough without evil people being evil to your face!
All I can do is try to remain the positive being that I try so very hard to be. Block out negativity and surround myself with light and love.
Will I forgive? No, because she is not worthy of my reaction – at all. So I am going to choose to not be hurt, to not be angry. My life, its too important to have people like her in it. Her hostility, her venom, her toxicity, it will not touch me. Speak to the hand, I will not listen. Your evil can not touch me. And so we move on, and we teach those who want to be taught, and we protect those we can protect and we just do our very best, today and tomorrow and every day.
I send you a BIG hug for writing this. That woman causes so much hurt, she is ignorant, she really hasn’t a clue. We are bigger than that, we really are, it’s just so very hard that we who struggle with our diet also are required to be big hearted. Peace and health to you and your loved ones. Xx
Thank you xx
Hi Linda! I found your blog by chance, mainly because of your cute dogs (I have a Coton de Tulear puppy which looks very similar to your Havanese pups). I also have Ehlers-Danlos and lots of random issues that seem to come along with it (including some odd lung & quirky lab values). I don’t have celiac (I was very thankful that the biopsy during my endoscopy came back negative), but I did have my gallbladder removed in my early twenties (I am currently 31), and have a serve food allergy…luckily to finned fish witch is relatively easy to avoid in the United States.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know a little bit more about Ehlers-danlos and related issues (it seems like you have your work cut out for you with the celiac and lung problems…and maybe give you some reassurance about how resilient your daughter will be despite her struggles and what has helped me. If you are interested, feel free to email me.
Best of luck to you and your daughter!
Thank you for your comment Marina. Its all a big roller coaster here. Getting there. One step at a time. xxxx