When you are pregnant and people ask which sex you would like you happily answer that it doesn’t matter “as long as its healthy” you say. Because then and there, thats what you are supposed to say. It doesn’t matter if you wish for a girl or boy, the wish for health comes first.
Then fast forward a few years…… and the child, the child that was born with 5 fingers on each hand, 5 toes on each foot and an adorable heart shaped birth mark on her bum…. this absolutely perfect human being that you made. She is not healthy. Not even a little. And you know what…? It doesn’t matter even one tiny little bit. You don’t love her any less, you don’t secretly wish to return her for a refund and you wouldn’t change anything about her for the world.
You learn to live with the cards you have been dealt, you make the best of the situation you are in, learn everything you can about the diseases and issues you face, and life goes on. It goes on, and you live and you fight, and sometimes its hard, so very very hard, but its ok, because its your life, and everything you do is for your child, and it really doesn’t matter one little bit because to you she is perfect in every little way.
Don’t feel sorry for us, don’t say oh poor you, don’t say it. Don’t say you are lucky that there is nothing wrong with your child. This health thing, its a tricky thing because it can come and go, instantly. Think instead, think for a moment, if you see me struggle, how can you maybe help…? There is so much you can do, really there is!
Spend time with us. Understand when we cancel for the 15th time. Forgive me for forgetting really simple things. Come for coffee. Ask if you can bring something – I will always say no, but its nice when you ask. Call or text, even when if I forgot to reply the last time. Send me a link to a funny or cute story, better yet, make me laugh.
Just be there, be our friend, be our equal, not someone who pities us. My child, my princess, she is perfect in every way, just like your child. Things sometimes aren’t as simple for us, just accept this. Accept us, this way, the way we are.
Things are a bit tricky for us lately. Don’t walk away, we need you now, more then ever.
(putting most our health updates on Facebook lately – go visit)