So upset today. Really really moody and horrid.
Back to school is getting me down, big time. Why? Because only one is going back, and he has to be proper gf for the first time ever, and I need to bake again, and baking corn (and egg free and gluten free) free is a bloomin nightmare, and I dont like baking and Im picking faults right now, with everything.
Why cant I just go to the shop and buy the bread we need? Why cant they just bloody make it??? Im feeling miserable and sorry for myself and I want to scream and stomp my feet and throw things.
I hardly ever have days like this, everything thats been thrown our way these last few years I have taken in my stride and just gotten on with…. but today, I am hard done by, I am miserable and I want our school to have uniforms and I want shops to stock stuff we need and I want to be in Dubai not here and I want someone, anyone to come do my laundry because Im so friggin tired I think I could sleep for a month. Maybe two months.
And Im home sick, and I dont know where home is, or what Im missing and Im so upset and sad.
I want both my kids to go to school tomorrow and I want to be alone sometimes, even just an hour or two. And September is coming, and every September for forever she gets pneumonia, then again in October and November and bla bla bla and I cant do it anymore. Can I please just sleep instead…?
Im not depressed, honest. Tomorrow, or later or whenever I will be just fine. But sometimes I just bottle it all up, for so long and then I need to just let it out, a bit atleast. Then I feel so bad, because there are people out there with real issues, people who have terminal illnesses and others who are fleeing wars and orphans and all sorts, and I feel like such a selfish brat for complaining, I have no right to complain. Its not so bad being me really…. is it?
Deep breaths and all that. Tomorrow will be a better day.
If anyone knows of GF, CF, EF breadmixes, please let me know.