Why is your house gluten free? I mean common, its just gluten right? 

Because Celiac disease kills. Yup, it kills. Only it does it slowly without huge obvious signs. Would you keep nut dust around in a nut allergy home?

Oh common, just one bite wont hurt? 

Hell yes it will. It will hurt, ALOT. In some you cant see it, in some the effects are felt and heard, for a long time. The last contamination we had the effects lasted almost 3 months (and that wasn’t a bite, it was contamination!)

Oh yeah, Im allergic to gluten too.

No you are not. You either have Celiac disease, gluten sensitivity (NCGS) or Celiac disease. Celiac disease is not an allergy, its an autoimmune disease.

You are just being difficult / embarrassing. 

HELL YES, Im trying to save my kids life here. Did you know Celiacs who are not gluten free or are repeatedly exposed to gluten have a much larger chance of premature death then the general population? There is also a higher chance of developing another autoimmune disease, as well as the risk of malnourishment and everything that comes with it, to name just a few of reasons I am being difficult / embarrassing.

Do you really have to wipe the darn table when we go out for coffee (insert eye-roll)

Yup, I do, if you cant deal with it you cant be my friend. An 8th of a breadcrumb can be enough for a reaction, thats my kid touching the table all over and then forgetting about it and popping a finger in her mouth or touching her lip then accidentally licking it. If you are my friend, you will help me wipe and give evil looks to anyone that stares!

Its Christmas, let her have one, it wont hurt her

Sorry, Celiac disease doesn’t take holidays.

Gluten is killed off / burnt off in high temperatures

If this logic was correct we would be able to eat a loaf of bread, its baked in the oven…. or an onion ring thats deep fried…? No… not so much? Didn’t think so.

So if you can write a list of what she can and can’t eat….

Yes, because that would be so easy, why didn’t I think of that earlier! THANK YOU!

If you leave bread out overnight the gluten will evaporate.

You really must have had a really special kind of education….. like …. say what?

Don’t worry, she will grow out of it.

What part of THIS. IS. NOT. AN. ALLERGY. Did you not understand? Autoimmune diseases are like very special gifts, they are for life.

Cant you just scrape the filling out of the bread and eat that? / PEEL the KFC chicken? /Pick the croutons out / Scrape the breading off?

Yeah, sure, lets sprinkle nuts all over this donut and then scrape it off a bit with a spoon and feed it to your nut allergy anaphylactic kid! No? Didn’t think so.

Oh gluten? Thats only in pasta and bread, not that hard.

hahahahahahaha. Thats is all. Really, hahahahaha.

Its SOUP, there is no gluten in SOUP!!

SO glad you told me, so AWESOME to have met an expert on this. THANKS! Assume you checked the thickener and the stock cubes? Oh yes, those can have gluten too. Never mind the small bits of pasta / croutons / barley / whatever floating in it…..

If I threw a crumb in her mouth what would happen?

You may very well end up dead thats what would happen

I got this for me and the kids – I couldn’t find anything you/she/he could eat

Yes, because picking up some sliced melon, bananas, fruit, plain yogurt, berries, cheese slices or anything cleverly labelled (!!) gluten free would have been too difficult. I understand.

You really are fussy aren’t you.

Yes, extra specially fussy in a very special kind of way 🙂

But, she’s not going to EAT glue / playdough / waterpaint 

No, but she’s 5. How many 5 year olds do you know who are impeccably clean after playing with stuff like that? Actually, scrap that. YES, she might eat it.

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Might have to edit this one and add more later. Thanks to the awesome gluten free people in the Facebook group called Gluten Free and Me (not mine) for helping some with some of theirs. The lady who was told she was only Celiac because of her pregnancy must have been the best one. Or the gluten evaporates one. Heck, some of the stuff some of these people have been told, often by close friends and relatives ASTOUND me. Surely people who know someone with Celiac would take their time to do a quick google on actual facts?

I actually meant to put proper answers explaining very carefully, until I realised just how much bottled up gluten rage I held inside! Go ahead, add yours in the comments below or on my facebook page!

For those of you with a sense of humour failure, this kind of stuff is the stuff families like ours hears on an almost daily basis, while we smile sweetly and answer politely for the 5th time at the same dinner party, these are the answers in our heads. Or at least mine.

-Linda